Thursday 18 February 2016

Abby's autobiography

Here is Abby's autobiography, can you give her some feedback?  Tell her 2 things she has done well (2 stars) and 1 thing she could work on


25 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I was a fantastic story

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    1. Abby, did you find Tayla's feedback helpful?

      Tayla - next time you need to tell Abby two stars of things she has done well and a wish to work on

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  3. wish: you do need to include full stops at the end of every paragraph

    star: you used a lot of describing words
    star: we like how you put it into every little detail

    from Zoe and Tayla

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  4. We think you have put you ideas into great words.
    We think you have sorted the paragraphs out really well.
    You need to try put more punctuation in it.
    Nina and Jaymee

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  5. Well done Abby you have done a great autobiography and you have very detailed paragraphs but my wish for you is too add a little more about your travelling.

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  8. ⭐️ You have introduce your self
    ⭐️ You have also done paragraphs
    You could work on the spelling

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  9. I like that you have put it in paragraphs. I like that you used lots of life events. You need to put some full stops in the right places.

    by James and Jordan

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  10. I like how your put lots of info of your like
    And your ideas and main points
    You need to get some spelling

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  11. you have used paragrafing and exiting words well.

    you need to work on your spelling

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  12. The story doesn't make sense.
    Your spelling is good except for a couple of words.
    You did good punctuation and paragraphs

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  13. I like how you had lots of praghths and lots of detailed words.
    Bit more information about your pre school and you family.

    Over all it is amazing Abby.

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  14. you did well using paragraphs and you should use more punctuation.

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  15. Great autobiography Abby. You have added paragraphs and used capital letters for names and places. My wish is for you to add more detail to make it more interesting.

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    1. A great piece of feedback here Brooke, I agree with you.

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  16. I thought it was really good I really i liked the part when you stayed in a five star hotel

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    1. Its great that you have responded as a reader Charlie, can you also give her two stars and a wish?

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  17. For the wish more capital letter and full stops
    Star you have got a good introduction
    Star you have a lot of information
    From Oscar and Ryder

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  18. I really like how you were very good at comers

    You need to work on full stops. By Kate

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  19. Like how you used lots of praghths.
    I like how you used a lot for detailed words in your story.
    Needs a little more information about your pre school and family.
    👍Great job Abby.

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  20. I like the information that you used it was also good that you were very descriptive and specific.-mila
    My wish is for more full stops and punctuation

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  21. You put a lot of great ideas
    You had great lay out
    You need to inprove on you spelling
    From Tayla and ruby

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