Once upon a time on a hot day in Hawaii there was a Narwhal called Gizzy. Gizzy was very normal, he walked around and ate pineapples but he could not swim.
One sunny afternoon a huge blue whale was trying to get beached. “Gizzy I am going to help you swim!”. “What?” said Gizzy “how do you know my name.” “Don’t think about that, my name is Kevin. I am going to help you swim.” Gizzy was feeling so weird about Kevin, he has never thought of swimming in the ocean. He liked walking and making friends with the coconuts.
“Ok?” said Gizzy “GREAT” yelled Kevin “ we will start now. Go over to that little bay, your first lesson will be there.” ………..Five minutes later……….. Gizzy and Kevin were both at the little bay, Kevin said “ ok this is what you have to do.” “Kick around this little bay and your back fin will come out.” “I have a back fin” said Gizzy not knowing what to do. “ Yes you will lose you legs and and have a beautiful back fin” said Kevin feeling very happy, “ok?” said Gizzy some sounding very scared.
Gizzy kick around the little bay, his legs were getting smaller and smaller. “Ok your lesson is over, go home and meet me at 9:30am at the ocean’s edge you are going to get your back fin”
said Kevin. So Gizzy went home and got some sleep. The next day Gizzy went to the ocean’s edge, Kevin was wating for him, but spence Gizzy’s leg were smaller it was harder to walk.
Final he got there. “Jump in and swim around and don't come back to the island”. So Hizzy swam and losted his legs and never come back to Haiwii.
So that is how the Nalwhal got there back fin.
i like the way you came up with all thoses iders ΓΌ
ReplyDeleteWow Ava amazing work!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI like the funny bites in it.
I like your punctuation
I think you should work on editing.
but you have an amazing peace of work.
that was very funny and interesting and i love your punctuation you need to work on editing
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ReplyDeleteI think you have good punchtuation full stop capital letters and speech marks
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should right some of the lighns longer
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Ava I really like this peace of writing it was interesting and funny but I think you need to work on editing because it has some mistakes in it
ReplyDeleteI think your story was veary interesting and I liked how you made the characters talk aloud and you made it quite funny you need to work on adding some more WOW words
ReplyDeletewell done Ava.
ReplyDeletestars: very well used punctuation. descriptive language
wish: editing so it makes sense and spelling
from brooke
I like you used interesting words
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ReplyDeleteYou used a lot of great vocal and putuation but next time work on your spelling.
ReplyDelete-Tayla
Star- I like the way you added a lot of Humour inside of this story.
ReplyDeleteStar-You have done a lot of good puntuation.
Wish-You need to make a new line before the next person speaks.
-Nina
I like that when Kevin was helping grisly on how to swim. It was very very very very very very very very very kind. Great story Ava. Fantastic work and keep it up. Work on editing.
ReplyDeleteI love your story It was good
ReplyDeleteI like the punctuation that you used
I think that you need to work on spaling.
Its very funny and its nice how Kevin helped fizzy :)
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